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I have no legal claims for this video. A mockumentary about how black people see white culture "Darkest Austria" (1994) is a spoof film about the native tribes of the mountains of western Austria, the land of the Tyroleans and other warlike peoples. It is based on three expeditions to the heart of Europe led by anthropologist Kayonga Kagame of Kinshasa University. The film is done in the time-honored style of National Geographic films of the 1970s. Although Europeans have written many books about themselves, Kagame warns us: "If you want to keep a clear head, avoid all white self-interpretation and rely on your own common sense." Kagame's discoveries: Polygamy: The Central European tribes practise dislocated polygamy: each man lives with one woman but, for reasons yet to be studied, does not live with his auxiliary wives in the same home. Masks: They use masks in their dances but have little spiritual understanding of what they are for. Music: The music sung by men is sad and boring while that of the women is shrill and aggressive. The native children, though, sing lively songs. Religion: The Christian temples stand empty, although they are well maintained. Seeking to answer this mystery Kagame discovered a new religion: the natives now worship a god whose totem is the Chicken instead of the old god of the Lamb. In place of the bread and wine of the old god, worshipers eat the flesh of the chicken and drink as much beer as possible. They dance like chickens to become one with their god. Cults: Kagame observed that some natives go through great hardships and grave dangers to reach the tops of certain mountains. He hired a helicopter to see what was at the tops of those mountains. He found crosses, the symbol of Christianity. The Mountaineers, as they call themselves, are clearly a semi-suicidal cult. The northern tribes: Each summer neighboring tribes from the north leave their big houses and come to these mountains to live in small rooms. In one town, over 90% of the rooms were built and set aside for this purpose. As the northern tribal men look impotent, it is likely that their women seek sexual congress with the more virile southern male. Psychology: The natives like to go up hills and slide down them over and over, sometimes for a whole day. In Kinshasa little children like to do this but soon grow out of it. Clearly Europe has regressed to infantile behavior on an epidemic scale, a sign that civilization there is drawing to a close. Transport: They use bicycles to go nowhere. Community: The natives say they believe in individualism and, in fact, they sometimes put their own selfish interests above that of their family and community. Yet they dress the same and act the same! Some say that the white man's well-known love of money accounts for his strange behavior. Kagame thinks that is too simple, in part because it denies them a spiritual dimension. He says they will always be something of a mystery to us.